End of Summer Review: D.O.A. (Death of Alex)

So the summer is now over, and it was a pretty boring summer, but i found out a lot of stuff about myself and my so called friends. Well fist to close some subjects that were left open in the mid summer review: I didnt get to 185LBS grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, i ended my summer workout at 181lbs, but i feel good about my body and think i am going to go for 190 for the school year.

Now the big on my ex lol....well lets just say i dont know what is going on with him. Things got really good in the middle of the summer and then, he just stop talking to me again. And when we text i feel like there is a barrier with him like he is trying to keep his distance or he doesnt want me close like he doesnt like me anymore. Like take for instance i wrote him a message a week ago basially asking him, " do you like me, do you want to work things out" and i have yet to here from him on that subject. At this point he really dont have to answer because his silance have told me enough...im just not that important to him. I bet if his ex asked him a question it would not take a week to get a response I think it is time to move on...

So now for the reason i am writing this...At this time i am going to annouce the D.O.A. no i am not dead, but the little nice weak guy that people always run over is now gone, and he is never coming back. No longer will i let people run my life, no longer will i let you bock me in. No longer am i going to sit here waiting for you to hold me back... There is only Jax now, and this is my life and and JAX is going to have fun with or without you HAHAHAHAHAHAHA now go take your fucking games else where *peace sign up, index finger down*

Song of the Week 8/31/09

Lauryn Hill - I Get Out


I get out, I get out of all your boxes
I get out, you can't hold me in these chains
I'll get out
Father free me from this bondage
Knowin' my condition
Is the reason I must change

[Verse 1]
Your stinkin' resolution
Is no type of solution
Preventin' me from freedom
Maintainin' your pollution
I won't support your lie no more
I won't even try no more
If I have to die, oh Lord
That's how I choose to live
I won't be compromised no more
I can't be victimised no more
I just don't sympathize no more
Cause now I understand
You just wanna use me
You say "love" then abuse me
You never thought you'd loose me
But how quickly we forget
That nothin' is for certain
You thought I'd stay here hurtin'
Your guilt trip's just not workin'
Repressin' me to death
Cause now I'm choosin' life, yo
I take the sacrifice, yo
If everything must go, then go
That's how I choose to live

[Pause]

[Singing rest of Verse 1]
That's how I choose to live...
Hehehehe, awhh
No more compromises
I see past your disguises
Blindin' through mind control
Stealin' my eternal soul
Appealin' through material
To keep me as your slave

[Singing Chorus]
But I get out
Oh, I get out of all your boxes
I get out
Oh, you can't hold me in these chains
I'll get out
Oh, I want out of social bondage
Knowin' my condition
Oh, is the reason I must change

[Singing Verse 2]
See, what you see is what you get
Oh, and you ain't seen nothin' yet
Oh, I don't care if you're upset
I could care less if you're upset
See it don't change the truth
And your hurt feeling's no excuse
To keep me in this box
Psychological locks
Repressin' true expression
Cementin' this repression
Promotin' mass deception
So that no one can be healed
I don't respect your system
I won't protect your system
When you talk I don't listen
Oh, let my Father's will be done

[Singing Chorus]
And just get out
Oh, just get out of all these bondage
Just get out
Oh, you can't hold me in chains
Just get out
All these traditions killin' freedom
Knowin' my condition
Is the reason I must change

[Singing Verse 3]
I've just accepted what you said
Keepin' me among the dead
The only way to know
Is to walk then learn and grow
But faith is not your speed
Oh, you've had everyone believed
That you're the sole authority
Just follow the majority
Afraid to face reality
The system is a joke
Oh, you'd be smart to save your soul
Oh, when escape is mind control
You spent your life in sacrifice
To a system for the dead
Oh, are you sure...
Where is the passion in this living
Are you sure it's God you servin'
Obligated to a system
Getting less then you're deserving
Who made up these schools, I say
Who made up these rules, I say
Animal conditioning
Oh, just to keep us as a slave

[Singing Chorus]
Oh, just get out
Of this social purgatory
Just get out
All these traditions are a lie
Just get out
Superstition killing freedom
Knowin' my condition
Is the reason I must die
Just get out
Just get out
Just get out
Let's get out
Let's get out
Knowin' my condition
Is the reason I must die
Just get out

Song of the Week 8/24/08

So long, farewell old me. Hello to the new me...the better me


Ciara - I Found Myself


So long
Farewell
Hello, to the new me
The better me

That's right
My Life...

[Verse 1:]
21, and I've realized,
Everything you want's not meant to be.
21 then you qualify,
To stand up to responsibilities.
So I tried to prioritize
By deciding what I know is best for me.

And then there's always, love that tries to trip you up.
You try to catch yourself before you hit the ground.
But nothings promised.
Friends are there to cheer you up,
To give you strength and build you up when you are down.
So I set sail emotion

[Chorus:]
I say
So long, farewell,
My life's moving forward.
My ship has sailed,
And I'm so glad it's over.
My heart is well,
After all that I've been through
I found myself.

[Verse 2:]
22, I hope that I'm,
With someone who truly cares for me.
If I'm not, I'll be alright,
I'll accept the time I know God has for me.
One day I'll be the perfect wife.
That's my destiny,
And I won't be afraid to try
though is always....

Love that tries to trip you up
But then someone who sweep you off the ground,
But nothings promised.
I'm not gonna give it up
Just because the last one let me down.
So I set sail emotion.

[Chorus:]
I say
So long, farewell,
My life's moving forward.
My ship has sailed,
And I'm so glad it's over.
My heart is well,
After all that I've been through
I found myself.

[Verse 3:]
I'm looking out for me,
Taking care of my needs.
Life isn't guaranteed,
It's time to start living.
It wont always be the same,
Can't be afraid of change.
You wanna have your way,
Demand till your Satisfied
You lower your self esteem,
You gotta live your dream.
It's all bout confidence,
To let them know that you can stand up.
You never try,
Learn to express you mind.
Sometimes you gotta fight,
It's your life so don't you give up.

[Chorus:]
I say
So long, farewell,
My life's moving forward.
That ship has sailed,
And I'm so glad it's over.
My heart is well,
After all that I've been through
I found myself.
After all that I've been through
I found myself.........

Song of the week 8/17/09

i could use somebody like you...


Kings of Leon - "Use Somebody"


I've been roaming around
Always looking down at all I see
Painted faces, fill the places I cant reach

You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you, And all you know, And how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street

You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you

Off in the night, while you live it up, I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice

Someone like me
Someone like me
Someone like me, somebody

Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody

I've been roaming around,
Always looking down at all I see

Song of the Week 8/10/09

Sometimes when it comes to relationships i wish i could act like a boy. Like how would you feel constently lied, a played games, and messed with your head...but the more i think about it i'm glad im not like you ( a little boy), im a man and i act like one...so when are you going to grow up?


Ciara - "Like A Boy"

Pull up your pants
(Just Like Em')
Take out the trash
(Just Like Em')
getting ya cash like em'
Fast like em'
Girl you outta act like ya dig
(What I'm talkin' bout')
Security codes on everything
Vibrate so your phone don't ever ring
(Joint Account)
And another one he don't know about

[Hook]
Wish we could switch up the roles
And I could be that...
Tell you I love you
But when you call I never get back
Would you ask them questions like me?...
Like where you be at?
Cause I'm out 4 in the morning
On the corner rolling
Doing my own thing
Oh

[Chorus:]
What if I?...
Had a thing on the side?
Made ya cry?
Would the rules change up?...
Or would they still apply?...
If I played you like a toy?...
Sometimes I wish I could act like a boy

[Guy Chopped & Screwed Voice]
Can't be getting mad!
What You Mad?
Can't Handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!

[Verse: 2]
Girl go head and be...
(Just Like Em')
Go run the streets
(Just Like Em')
come home late say sleep like em'
Creep like em'
Front with ya friends
Act hard when you're with em' like em'
(What)
Keep a straight face when ya tell a lie
Always keep an air-tight alibi
(Keep Him In The Dark)
What he don't know won't break his heart

[Hook]
Wish we could switch up the roles
And I could be that...
Tell you I love you
But when you call I never get back
Would you ask them questions like me?...
Like where you be at?
Cause I'm out 4 in the morning
On the corner rolling
Doing my own thing
Yea

[Chorus]

[Guy Chopped & Screwed Voice]
Can't be getting mad!
What You Mad?
Can't Handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!

[Bridge]
If I was always gone
With the sun getting home
(Would Ya Like That?)
Told you I was with my crew
When I knew it wasn't true
(Would Ya Like That?)
If I act like you
Walk A mile off in yo shoes
(Would Ya Like That?)
I'm messing with your head again
Dose of your own medicine

[Chorus]

[Guy Chopped & Screwed Voice]
Can't be getting mad!
What You Mad?
Can't Handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!

[Music Plays]

[Outro]
If I played you...
Would yo like that?
Had friends...
Would you like that?
never call?
Would you like that?
Hell naw
You wouldn't like that
No!

[Half-Chorus]
What if I made ya cry!
Would they still apply!
What if I...
If I played you like a toy
Sometimes I wish I could act like a boy!

Song of the Week 8/3/09

I love this song - - - its very motivating and helps me get up in the morning

Jill Scott- Gotta Get Up (another day)


I - don't want to - Go to work today - I 'd rather - Stay home - And play -
video games- I wanna chill

(music)
But I gotta get up
I gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta get up
(repeat 1x)

Get up
I don't want to go to work today
I'd rather stay home and play video games
I'd rather chill for real
I don't know how you feel
But sometimes I feel like I'm
Workin' for nuthin' tryin' to get sumthin'
Every where I turn there's a bill standing out
Swim the river climb the hill
Complacency you ain't gone get me no no no no

Chorus
"Cause I gotta get up
I gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta get up
I gotta gotta gotta
(Got to get up, Got to get up, Got to get up, (Jill: Gotta Gotta get up) Got to
get up)

I don't want to go to work today
I rather stay home and play video games
I rather chill for real
I don't know how you feel but sometimes I feel like I'm
Workin' for nuthin' tryin' to get sumthin'
Every where I turn there's a bill standing out
Swim the river climb the hill
Complacency you ain't gone get me no no no no

(Chorus)
'Cause I gotta get up
I gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta get up
Get up
I gotta gotta got to gotta gotta gotta get up
I gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta get up
Get up

I'd rather be in my space
I'd rather chill in my place
So I can go out and play all day I
I'd rather chill at home
I'd rather lay alone
True, but I got to work
I don't wanna go
I wanna play today
But what can I say
Bills to pay
I just can't get comfortable doing (doing) nuthin'(nuthin')

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh(Gotta get up, Gotta get up)
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh(I gotta got to got to gotta gotta got to get up, I gotta gotta
get up)
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh(Hey I gotta gotta get up, Get up)

Gotta gotta
I gotta get up
I gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta get up
Get up Uhmmm