2010 New Years Resolutions

I think this year i am going to keep it really simple....

1.) my number on goal for next year is to Have fun, these last two years have been hell, and i need to get back to enjoying myself

2.) This year is going to be about me, so much of my life i have been putting other people before me, just for them to screw me over in the end. So this year Fuck them, I'm gonna do me :)

3.) To Finish...i start a lot of things, and have a lot of ideas, but never see them though, so im going to focus of finishing whatever i start

4.) I want to get to 190lbs this Year

5.) Last but not least i will Smile more :D

Song of the Week 11/28/09

Alicia Keys - "Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart"


Even if you were a million miles away
I could still feel you in my bed
Near me, touch me, feel me
And even at the bottom of the sea
I could still hear inside my head
Tellin' me, touch me, feel me

And all the time you were tellin' me lies

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?
Well, you could try sleeping in my bed

Lonely, on me nobody ever shut it down like you
You want a crown
You made my body feel heaven bound
Why don't you hold me
Near me, I thought you told me
You'd never leave me

Looking in the sky I could see your face
And I know right where I fit in
Take me, make me, you know that I'll always be in love
With you
Right til the end OOh

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Anybody could've told you right from the start
It's bout to fall apart
So rather than hold onto a broken dream
We'll just hold on to love

And I could find a way to make it
Don't hold on too tight
I'll make it without you tonight

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold onto the times we had tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Song of the week 11/21/09

My favorite Christmas Song :)

Mariah Carey - "All I Want For Christmas Is You"


I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas
Is you...

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you...
You baby

I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
You...

All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need -
won't you please bring my baby to me...

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want him for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is
You...

All I want for Christmas is you baby... (repeat)

Song of the week 12/14/09

Sometimes you just feel like slapping somebody!

Ludacris - "Slap"

Everybody see's it's you
I'm the one that lost the view
Everybody says we're through
I hope you haven't said it too

So where
Do we go from here
With all this fear in our eyes
And where
Can love take us now
We've been so far down
We can still touch the sky

[Chorus]
If we crawl
Till we can walk again
Then we'll run
Until we're strong enough to jump
Then we'll fly
Until there is no end
So lets crawl, crawl, crawl
Back to love, Yeah
Back to love, Yeah

[Verse 2]
Why did I change the pace
Hearts were never meant to race
I always felt the need for space
But now I can't reach your face
So where
Are you standing now
Are you in the crowd of my faults
Love, can you see my hand?
I need one more chance
We can still have it all

[Chorus]
If we crawl (if we crawl)
Till we can walk again
Then we'll run (then we'll run)
Until we're strong enough to jump
Then we'll fly
Until there is no end
So lets crawl, crawl, crawl
Back to love, Yeah
Back to love, yeaaah

[Bridge]
Everybody see's it's you
Well I never wanna lose that view

[Chorus]
So we'll crawl (if we crawl)
Till we can walk again
Then we'll run
Until we're strong enough to jump
Then we'll fly
Until there is no end
So lets crawl, crawl, crawl

So we'll crawl (ooh)
Till we can walk again (till we can walk again)
Then we'll run (we'll run)
Until we're strong enough to jump (until we're strong enough to jump)
Then we'll fly (then we'll fly)
Until there is no end
So let's crawl, let's crawl, let's crawl
Back to love

Song of the Week 12/7/09

I like this song

Chris Brown - "Crawl"

Everybody see's it's you
I'm the one that lost the view
Everybody says we're through
I hope you haven't said it too

So where
Do we go from here
With all this fear in our eyes
And where
Can love take us now
We've been so far down
We can still touch the sky

[Chorus]
If we crawl
Till we can walk again
Then we'll run
Until we're strong enough to jump
Then we'll fly
Until there is no end
So lets crawl, crawl, crawl
Back to love, Yeah
Back to love, Yeah

[Verse 2]
Why did I change the pace
Hearts were never meant to race
I always felt the need for space
But now I can't reach your face
So where
Are you standing now
Are you in the crowd of my faults
Love, can you see my hand?
I need one more chance
We can still have it all

[Chorus]
If we crawl (if we crawl)
Till we can walk again
Then we'll run (then we'll run)
Until we're strong enough to jump
Then we'll fly
Until there is no end
So lets crawl, crawl, crawl
Back to love, Yeah
Back to love, yeaaah

[Bridge]
Everybody see's it's you
Well I never wanna lose that view

[Chorus]
So we'll crawl (if we crawl)
Till we can walk again
Then we'll run
Until we're strong enough to jump
Then we'll fly
Until there is no end
So lets crawl, crawl, crawl

So we'll crawl (ooh)
Till we can walk again (till we can walk again)
Then we'll run (we'll run)
Until we're strong enough to jump (until we're strong enough to jump)
Then we'll fly (then we'll fly)
Until there is no end
So let's crawl, let's crawl, let's crawl
Back to love

Song of the Week 11/30/09

Moving on in life, without you :)


Taio Cruz - "Moving On"

I cant wait till you're gone away, cos
then I can move on
I cant wait till you're gone away, cos
then I can move on
And I can say
I'm finally over you ...I'm [x3]
It's finally over,
I can't wait till you're gone away, cos
then I can move on,
I can't wait till you are gone,
I can't wait till you are gone

You say that you are no longer in love
with me, and
You cannot be, the one for me,
Told me that this love of ours has taken
us down different roads,
And its caused us to grow, apart and so

Girl don't say to me, you wanna be,
Be good friends with me, That's just
teasing me
Girl It's best you leave now, Say
Goodbye to me
You should know girl that I...

[Chorus (Repeat Above)]

I just need you to leave me lady
I just need you to leave me lady
That way I can move on you feel me
That way I can move on you feel me
I just need you to leave me lady
I just need you to leave me lady
That way I can move on you feel me
That way I can move on... feel me
I just need you to leave me lady
I just need you to leave me lady
That way I can move on you feel me
That way I can move on you feel me
I just need you to leave me lady
I just need you to leave me lady
That way I can move on you feel me
That way I can move on...
And I can say
I'm finally over you ...I'm [x3]
It's finally over,
I can't wait till you're gone away, cos
then I can move on,
I can't wait till you are gone,
I can't wait till you are gone

Song of the Week 11/23/09

Switchfoot - "This Is Your Life"

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you've broken
Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes
This is your life and today is all you've got now
Yeah, and today is all you'll ever have
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Yesterday is a kid in the corner
Yesterday is dead and over

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes

This is your life are you who you want to be?
This is your life are you who you want to be?

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

And you had everything to lose

Song of the Week 11/16/09

This Whole life Route is getting old...

Nine Inch Nails - "Every Day Is Exactly The Same"


I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again
That might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around

Oh, no

[Chorus:]
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same

I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end

[Chorus]

I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you might find
Well I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I'm still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have been any other way
But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do

[Chorus x2]

Song of the Week 11/9/09

Kenna - "Static"

don't know if I want you to understand me
don't know if I want you to understand me
don't know if I want you to understand me
or go
don't know if I want you to see through me
I confess this heavy heart has me on my knees
dont know if I want you to see through me, or go
or go
or go
or go

cause it feels like static when you're here
static when you're gone
static everywhere
static everytime

love come and bless me
show me how it feels
been here time before and it wasnt real
don't know if I want you to understand me or go
can't blame you dove when the blame is mine
to love and let go was never the design
don't know if I want you to see through me or go

cause it feels like static when you're here
static when you're gone
static everywhere
static everytime
everytime

even as my demons leave
unsure if I want you to see through me
don't know if I want you to understand me or go
let go
go go...

Song of the Week 11/2/09

Linkin Park - "Breaking The Habit"


Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again

[Bridge:]
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

[Bridge:]
I dont want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

[Bridge:]
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit
Tonight

Song of the Week 10/26/09

Jonas Brothers - "Paranoid"

I make the most of all this stress
I try to live without regrets
But I'm about to break a sweat
I'm freakin' out

It's like a poison in my brain
It's like a fog that blurs the sane
It's like a vine you can't untangle
I'm freakin' out

Every time I turn around
Something don't feel right

Just might be paranoid
I'm avoiding the lines
Cause they just might split
Can someone stop the noise?
I don't know what it is
But I just don't fit
I'm paranoid
Yeah!

I take the necessary steps
To get some air in to my chest
I'm taking all the doctor's meds
I'm still freakin' out

That's why my ex is still my ex
I never trust a word she says
I'm running all the background checks
And she's freakin' out

Every time I turn around
Something's just not right

Just might be paranoid
I'm avoiding the lines
Cause they just might split
Can someone stop the noise?
I don't know what it is
But I just don't fit
Consider me destroyed
(Consider me destroyed)
I don't know how to act
Cause I lost my head
I must be paranoid
(Must be paranoid)
And I never thought it would come this
I'm paranoid

Stuck in a room of staring faces
Caught in a nightmare, can't wake up
If you hear my cry, running through the streets
I'm about to freak, come and rescue me

Just might be paranoid, yeah
(Might be paranoid)
I'm avoiding the lines
Cause they just might split
Can someone stop the noise?
(Someone stop the noise)
I don't know what it is
But I just don't fit
Consider me destroyed
(Consider me destroyed)
I don't know how to act
Cause I lost my head
I must be paranoid
(Must be paranoid)
I never thought it would come to this
I'm paranoid

Song of the Week 10/20/09

INDIA.ARIE - "This Too Shall Pass"

I achieved so much in life
But I’m an amateur in love
My bank account is doing just fine
But my emotions are bankrupt

My body is nice and strong
But my heart is in a million pieces
When the sun is shining so am I
But when the night falls so does my tears

Sometimes the beatings so loud in my heart
That I can barely tell our voices apart
Sometimes the fear is so loud in my head
That I can barely hear what God says

Then I hear a whisper that this too shall pass
I hear the angel’s whisper that this too shall pass
My ancestors whisper that this day one day will be the past
So I walk in faith that this too shall pass

The one that loved me the most
Turned around and hurt me the worse
I’m doing my best to move on
But the pain just keeps singing me songs

My head and my heart are at war
Cause love ain't happening the way I wanted
Feel like I’m about to break down
Can’t hear the light at the end of the tunnel

So I pray for healing in my heart
To be put back together what is torn apart
And I pray for quiet in my head
That I can hear clearly what God says

Then I hear the whisper that this too shall pass
I hear the Angels whisper that this too shall pass
My ancestors whisper that this day will one day be the past
So I walk in faith that this too shall pass

All of sudden I realize
That it only hurts worse to fight it
So I embrace my shadow
And hold on to the morning light

This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
I hear the angels whisper
that trouble don't have to last always
I hear the angels whisper
Even the day after tomorrow will one day be yesterday.
I hear my angels whisper.
I hear my angels whisper.
This too shall pass.

Take A Look In The Mirror

Nobody likes you,
People Run all over you,
You're Ugly,
You're a Lame,
You're a Fuck up,
You have no friends,
You don't fit in,
You'll never be loved,
Nobody cares about you
So what are you going to do about it...

Song of the Week 10/12/09

Trey Songz - "Hatin Love"


[Verse 1:]
Now I've done had lots of relationships,
Aint none of them ever added up to shit,
My folks they always told me what you wish,
Be careful cause that one thing you could get,
So I prayed to the Lord to send me love,
Send me something like an angel from up above,
But instead I got a chick who played on my heart,
She had me feeling good then tore me apart.

[Chorus:]
Love aint supposed to feel this way,
Love aint supposed to hurt or cause you pain,
Love aint supposed to make me cry,
But now I'm trying to wipe my eyes.
Love aint supposed to feel this way,
Love aint supposed to hurt or cause you pain,
Love aint supposed to make me cry,
But now I'm trying to wipe my eyes.

[Verse 2:]
She was like the devil in disguise,
Spending time with me and thinking of other guys,
And even though I tried my best,
I cant describe the way she made me feel,
All over a girl, who never gave her all,
Never gave me much, when it came to love,
I dont know why I spent so much time,
On a love that wasn't mine,
And the pain is so unkind.

[Chorus]

[Verse 3:]
Now it aint even worth my time,
Love aint supposed to feel like I'm losing my mind,
I once was blind but now I see,
The girl was playing games she aint the one for me,
I'm trying to told ya,
If you find a love, just dont close your eyes, you might go blind,
Got to keep it smart, give it all your heart, if you fall to far in love you'll find the hard way.

[Chorus]

He's Just Not That Into You

All those hopes and dreams, all those promises, all the laughs. Its funny how reality just kicked in and all the pieces are starting to make sense...

One Text message in the last 2 weeks,
+He gives you the "lets just be friends speech" two times
+ After a year, and saying that he can see us together...he's still hesitate to be with you
+ When he's drunk you can see the fire in his eyes...but when he sobers up he just dont look at you the same
+ You comment on his facebook...and he deletes your comment, but he allows other guys to write on it
+ When you to are tagged in the same picture...he detags himself, but allows pictures with other guys
+ He constantly lies to you
+ When you two hang out, he is on the phone with some other guy
+ He says he needs to get to know you more...but he dont put forth any effort to get to know you
+ He's to busy to come see you, but not to busy to come see someone else in thats in your town
________________________________________________________________________

= HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

Song of the Week 10/5/09 part 2

It's fun how people spend their life looking for something or someone, and never realize that what they are looking for is right in front of their face...


Mary J Blige - "The One"

[Intro]
Uh huh... (one)
Uh...it's another... (one)
I am the... (one)
Darkchild... (one)

[Mary J Blige's Verse]
Them oher girl's you done been with
None of them got nothing on me
Hating on my style they aint got nothing on me....nothing on me
Way I walk, the way I talk, my swagga...look around; every dude wanna have her
I ain't saying that I'm the best, but I'm the best, hey baby you need that

[Chorus]
Stop looking for it, looking for it, I'm the (one)
Stop looking for it, looking for it, I'm the (one)
Stop looking for it, looking for it, I'm the (one)
Stop looking for it, looking for it, I'm the (one)
Stop looking for it, looking for it, I'm the (one)
Stop looking for it, looking for it, I'm the (one)
(hey I'm that)...Boy don't you know I'm the one,
(yea I'm that)...Boy don't you know I'm the one,
(yea I'm that)...Boy don't you know I'm the one,
(yea I'm her)...Boy don't you know I'm the one,
(yea I'm her)...

Let me break it down if you don't get it, quality,
I'm custom fitted, imma say it again, dey aint got nothing on me, nothing on me (me)
Way I walk, the way I talk, my swagga...boy you know every boss wanna have her
I ain't saying that I'm the best, but I'm the best, hey baby you need that

[Chorus]
Stop looking for it, looking for it, I'm the (one)
Stop looking for it, looking for it, I'm the (one)
Stop looking for it, looking for it, I'm the (one)
Stop looking for it, looking for it, I'm the (one)
Stop looking for it, looking for it, I'm the (one)
Stop looking for it, looking for it, I'm the (one)
(hey I'm that)...Boy don't you know I'm the one,
(yea I'm that)...Boy don't you know I'm the one,
(yea I'm that)...Boy don't you know I'm the one,
(yea I'm her)...Boy don't you know I'm the one,
(yea I'm her)...

[Drake's Verse]
Uh Ooh...ok I got these girls quite hype, only thing on right now, like a night light,
While my brother Wayne rockin' out like a white stripe, imma kill the game,
I'm the young money white night (white night)...Yeah
Plus I'm looking for the right type cautious of a flood so I always lay the right pipe
West put me on the mart, keep life light plus I go hard for the women that I might wife
I put the ring on her index finger so if you wanna keep your girl please don't bring her
I bet that I'm the type of guy that she got a thing for, You would block me but this aint jinga
Yeah...and she someone I would work with, that's what I could tell from what she's showing on the surface.
I aint saying that I'm requesting anyone that's perfect but I just need a woman that'll make it all worth it...

[Chorus 2x]

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock,
Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock,
This that knock, knock, knock, knock, knock...
This that knock, knock, knock, knock, knock...

I'm the one, one, one, one, one, one,
I'm the one, one, one, one, one, one,
I'm the one, one, one, one, one, one,
I'm the one, one, one, one, one, one,

Song of the Week 10/5/09 part 1

I couldnt pick between this two songs so im a use both lol.

I'ts fun how people spend their life looking for something or someone, and never realize that what they are looking for is right in front of their face...

Taylor Swift - "You Belong With Me"


You're on the phone
With your girlfriend
She's upset
She's going off about
Something that you said
'cause she doesn't get your humor
Like I do

I'm in the room
It's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music
She doesn't like
She'll never know your story
Like I do

But she wears short skirts
I wear t-shirts
She's cheer captain
And I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day
When you wake up and find
That what you're looking for
Has been here the whole time

If you could see
That I'm the one
Who understands you
Been here all along
So why can't you
See you belong with me
You belong with me.

Walking the streets
With you and your worn out jeans
I can't help thinking
This is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench
Thinking to myself
Hey, isn't this easy?

And you've got a smile
That could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in awhile
Since she brought you down
You say you're fine
I know you better than that
Hey what you doing
With a girl like that

She wears high heels
I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain
I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day
When you wake up and find
That what you're looking for
Has been here the whole time

If you could see
That I'm the one
Who understands you
Been here all along
So why can't you
See you belong with me
Standing by and
Waiting at your backdoor
All this time
How could you not know
Baby
You belong with me
You belong with me.

[Instrumental]

Oh, I remember
You driving to my house
In the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh
When you know you're about to cry
And I know your favorite songs
And you tell me about your dreams
Think I know where you belong
Think I know it's with me

Can't you see
That I'm the one
Who understands
Been here all along
So why can't you see?
You belong with me.

Have you ever thought
Just maybe
You belong with me?

Song of the Week 9/21/09

Saturday was a good day


Ice Cube - "It Was A Good Day"


Just waking up in the morning gotta thank God
I don't know but today seems kinda odd
No barking from the dog, no smog
And momma cooked a breakfast with no hog
I got my grub on, but didn't pig out
Finally got a call from a girl wanna dig out
Hooked it up for later as I hit the do'
Thinking will i live, another twenty-fo'
I gotta go cause I got me a drop top
And if I hit the switch, I can make the ass drop
Had to stop at a red light
Looking in my mirror not a jacker in sight
And everything is alright
I got a beep from Kim and she can fuck all night
Called up the homies and I'm askin y'all
Which park, are y'all playin basketball?
Get me on the court and I'm trouble
Last week fuck around and got a triple double
Freaking niggaz every way like M.J.
I can't believe, today was a good day

Drove to the pad and hit the showers
Didn't even get no static from the cowards
Cause just yesterday them fools tried to blast me
Saw the police and they rolled right past me
No flexin, didn't even look in a niggaz direction
as I ran the intersection
Went to Short Dog's house, they was watchin YO! MTV Raps
What's the haps on the craps
Shake em up, shake em up, shake em up, shake em
Roll em in a circle of niggaz and watch me break em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Seven even back do' little Joe
I picked up the cash flow
Then we played bones, and I'm yellin domino
Plus nobody I know got killed in South Central L.A.
Today was a good day

Left my niggaz house paid
Picked up a girl been tryin to do since the twelfth grade
It's ironic, I had the blunt she had the chronic
The Lakers beat the Supersonics
I felt on the big fat fanny
Pulled out the jammy, and killed the punanny
And my dick runs deep, so deep, so deep
put her ass to sleep
Woke her up around one
she didn't hesitate, to call Ice Cube the top gun
Drove her to the pad and I'm coasting
Took another sip of the potion hit the three-wheel motion
I was glad everything had worked out
Dropped her ass off, then I chirped out
Today was like one of those fly dreams
Didn't even see a berry flashing those high beams
No helicopter looking for a murder
Two in the morning got the Fatburger
Even saw the lights of the Goodyear Blimp
And it read Ice Cube's a pimp
Drunk as hell but no throwing up
Half way home and my pager still blowing up
Today I didn't even have to use my A.K.
I got to say it was a good day.

Hey wait, wait a minute poo Stop the shit
What the fuck am I thinking about?

Song of the Week 9/14/09

One Republic - Say (All I Need)


Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted

Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
You're doing your best and
Your best look
You're praying that you make it

Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Yeah, better than you had it (Better than you had it)

I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it

Song of the Week 9/7/09

You never know what you have until it is gone...

Ne-Yo - "Time"

How come you don't make time for me anymore
That's the last thing she said to you
And now when you call she don't answer anymore
Or the line is busy and you can't get through

In the time it would take you to learn from your mistakes
In the time it would take to dial the phone
In the time it will take you to realize her greatness, she'll be gone, she's moved on
To someone who takes the time

Her love wasn't a priority to you
You had other things on your mind
And now that it's much to little and so far too late
The busy signals all that's left behind
You're all alone

In the time it would take you to learn from your mistakes
In the time it would take to dial the phone
In the time it will take you to realize her greatness, she'll be gone, she's moved on
To someone who takes the time

Hey, no one knows what they have until they don't
And by then it doesn't matter anymore
You're all alone

In the time it would take you to learn from your mistakes
In the time it would take to dial the phone
And the time it would take you to realize her greatness, she'll be gone (she'll be gone)
In the time it will take you to realize her greatness, she'll be gone, she's moved on
Hang up the phone...

End of Summer Review: D.O.A. (Death of Alex)

So the summer is now over, and it was a pretty boring summer, but i found out a lot of stuff about myself and my so called friends. Well fist to close some subjects that were left open in the mid summer review: I didnt get to 185LBS grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, i ended my summer workout at 181lbs, but i feel good about my body and think i am going to go for 190 for the school year.

Now the big on my ex lol....well lets just say i dont know what is going on with him. Things got really good in the middle of the summer and then, he just stop talking to me again. And when we text i feel like there is a barrier with him like he is trying to keep his distance or he doesnt want me close like he doesnt like me anymore. Like take for instance i wrote him a message a week ago basially asking him, " do you like me, do you want to work things out" and i have yet to here from him on that subject. At this point he really dont have to answer because his silance have told me enough...im just not that important to him. I bet if his ex asked him a question it would not take a week to get a response I think it is time to move on...

So now for the reason i am writing this...At this time i am going to annouce the D.O.A. no i am not dead, but the little nice weak guy that people always run over is now gone, and he is never coming back. No longer will i let people run my life, no longer will i let you bock me in. No longer am i going to sit here waiting for you to hold me back... There is only Jax now, and this is my life and and JAX is going to have fun with or without you HAHAHAHAHAHAHA now go take your fucking games else where *peace sign up, index finger down*

Song of the Week 8/31/09

Lauryn Hill - I Get Out


I get out, I get out of all your boxes
I get out, you can't hold me in these chains
I'll get out
Father free me from this bondage
Knowin' my condition
Is the reason I must change

[Verse 1]
Your stinkin' resolution
Is no type of solution
Preventin' me from freedom
Maintainin' your pollution
I won't support your lie no more
I won't even try no more
If I have to die, oh Lord
That's how I choose to live
I won't be compromised no more
I can't be victimised no more
I just don't sympathize no more
Cause now I understand
You just wanna use me
You say "love" then abuse me
You never thought you'd loose me
But how quickly we forget
That nothin' is for certain
You thought I'd stay here hurtin'
Your guilt trip's just not workin'
Repressin' me to death
Cause now I'm choosin' life, yo
I take the sacrifice, yo
If everything must go, then go
That's how I choose to live

[Pause]

[Singing rest of Verse 1]
That's how I choose to live...
Hehehehe, awhh
No more compromises
I see past your disguises
Blindin' through mind control
Stealin' my eternal soul
Appealin' through material
To keep me as your slave

[Singing Chorus]
But I get out
Oh, I get out of all your boxes
I get out
Oh, you can't hold me in these chains
I'll get out
Oh, I want out of social bondage
Knowin' my condition
Oh, is the reason I must change

[Singing Verse 2]
See, what you see is what you get
Oh, and you ain't seen nothin' yet
Oh, I don't care if you're upset
I could care less if you're upset
See it don't change the truth
And your hurt feeling's no excuse
To keep me in this box
Psychological locks
Repressin' true expression
Cementin' this repression
Promotin' mass deception
So that no one can be healed
I don't respect your system
I won't protect your system
When you talk I don't listen
Oh, let my Father's will be done

[Singing Chorus]
And just get out
Oh, just get out of all these bondage
Just get out
Oh, you can't hold me in chains
Just get out
All these traditions killin' freedom
Knowin' my condition
Is the reason I must change

[Singing Verse 3]
I've just accepted what you said
Keepin' me among the dead
The only way to know
Is to walk then learn and grow
But faith is not your speed
Oh, you've had everyone believed
That you're the sole authority
Just follow the majority
Afraid to face reality
The system is a joke
Oh, you'd be smart to save your soul
Oh, when escape is mind control
You spent your life in sacrifice
To a system for the dead
Oh, are you sure...
Where is the passion in this living
Are you sure it's God you servin'
Obligated to a system
Getting less then you're deserving
Who made up these schools, I say
Who made up these rules, I say
Animal conditioning
Oh, just to keep us as a slave

[Singing Chorus]
Oh, just get out
Of this social purgatory
Just get out
All these traditions are a lie
Just get out
Superstition killing freedom
Knowin' my condition
Is the reason I must die
Just get out
Just get out
Just get out
Let's get out
Let's get out
Knowin' my condition
Is the reason I must die
Just get out

Song of the Week 8/24/08

So long, farewell old me. Hello to the new me...the better me


Ciara - I Found Myself


So long
Farewell
Hello, to the new me
The better me

That's right
My Life...

[Verse 1:]
21, and I've realized,
Everything you want's not meant to be.
21 then you qualify,
To stand up to responsibilities.
So I tried to prioritize
By deciding what I know is best for me.

And then there's always, love that tries to trip you up.
You try to catch yourself before you hit the ground.
But nothings promised.
Friends are there to cheer you up,
To give you strength and build you up when you are down.
So I set sail emotion

[Chorus:]
I say
So long, farewell,
My life's moving forward.
My ship has sailed,
And I'm so glad it's over.
My heart is well,
After all that I've been through
I found myself.

[Verse 2:]
22, I hope that I'm,
With someone who truly cares for me.
If I'm not, I'll be alright,
I'll accept the time I know God has for me.
One day I'll be the perfect wife.
That's my destiny,
And I won't be afraid to try
though is always....

Love that tries to trip you up
But then someone who sweep you off the ground,
But nothings promised.
I'm not gonna give it up
Just because the last one let me down.
So I set sail emotion.

[Chorus:]
I say
So long, farewell,
My life's moving forward.
My ship has sailed,
And I'm so glad it's over.
My heart is well,
After all that I've been through
I found myself.

[Verse 3:]
I'm looking out for me,
Taking care of my needs.
Life isn't guaranteed,
It's time to start living.
It wont always be the same,
Can't be afraid of change.
You wanna have your way,
Demand till your Satisfied
You lower your self esteem,
You gotta live your dream.
It's all bout confidence,
To let them know that you can stand up.
You never try,
Learn to express you mind.
Sometimes you gotta fight,
It's your life so don't you give up.

[Chorus:]
I say
So long, farewell,
My life's moving forward.
That ship has sailed,
And I'm so glad it's over.
My heart is well,
After all that I've been through
I found myself.
After all that I've been through
I found myself.........

Song of the week 8/17/09

i could use somebody like you...


Kings of Leon - "Use Somebody"


I've been roaming around
Always looking down at all I see
Painted faces, fill the places I cant reach

You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you, And all you know, And how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street

You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you

Off in the night, while you live it up, I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice

Someone like me
Someone like me
Someone like me, somebody

Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody

I've been roaming around,
Always looking down at all I see

Song of the Week 8/10/09

Sometimes when it comes to relationships i wish i could act like a boy. Like how would you feel constently lied, a played games, and messed with your head...but the more i think about it i'm glad im not like you ( a little boy), im a man and i act like one...so when are you going to grow up?


Ciara - "Like A Boy"

Pull up your pants
(Just Like Em')
Take out the trash
(Just Like Em')
getting ya cash like em'
Fast like em'
Girl you outta act like ya dig
(What I'm talkin' bout')
Security codes on everything
Vibrate so your phone don't ever ring
(Joint Account)
And another one he don't know about

[Hook]
Wish we could switch up the roles
And I could be that...
Tell you I love you
But when you call I never get back
Would you ask them questions like me?...
Like where you be at?
Cause I'm out 4 in the morning
On the corner rolling
Doing my own thing
Oh

[Chorus:]
What if I?...
Had a thing on the side?
Made ya cry?
Would the rules change up?...
Or would they still apply?...
If I played you like a toy?...
Sometimes I wish I could act like a boy

[Guy Chopped & Screwed Voice]
Can't be getting mad!
What You Mad?
Can't Handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!

[Verse: 2]
Girl go head and be...
(Just Like Em')
Go run the streets
(Just Like Em')
come home late say sleep like em'
Creep like em'
Front with ya friends
Act hard when you're with em' like em'
(What)
Keep a straight face when ya tell a lie
Always keep an air-tight alibi
(Keep Him In The Dark)
What he don't know won't break his heart

[Hook]
Wish we could switch up the roles
And I could be that...
Tell you I love you
But when you call I never get back
Would you ask them questions like me?...
Like where you be at?
Cause I'm out 4 in the morning
On the corner rolling
Doing my own thing
Yea

[Chorus]

[Guy Chopped & Screwed Voice]
Can't be getting mad!
What You Mad?
Can't Handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!

[Bridge]
If I was always gone
With the sun getting home
(Would Ya Like That?)
Told you I was with my crew
When I knew it wasn't true
(Would Ya Like That?)
If I act like you
Walk A mile off in yo shoes
(Would Ya Like That?)
I'm messing with your head again
Dose of your own medicine

[Chorus]

[Guy Chopped & Screwed Voice]
Can't be getting mad!
What You Mad?
Can't Handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!

[Music Plays]

[Outro]
If I played you...
Would yo like that?
Had friends...
Would you like that?
never call?
Would you like that?
Hell naw
You wouldn't like that
No!

[Half-Chorus]
What if I made ya cry!
Would they still apply!
What if I...
If I played you like a toy
Sometimes I wish I could act like a boy!

Song of the Week 8/3/09

I love this song - - - its very motivating and helps me get up in the morning

Jill Scott- Gotta Get Up (another day)


I - don't want to - Go to work today - I 'd rather - Stay home - And play -
video games- I wanna chill

(music)
But I gotta get up
I gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta get up
(repeat 1x)

Get up
I don't want to go to work today
I'd rather stay home and play video games
I'd rather chill for real
I don't know how you feel
But sometimes I feel like I'm
Workin' for nuthin' tryin' to get sumthin'
Every where I turn there's a bill standing out
Swim the river climb the hill
Complacency you ain't gone get me no no no no

Chorus
"Cause I gotta get up
I gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta get up
I gotta gotta gotta
(Got to get up, Got to get up, Got to get up, (Jill: Gotta Gotta get up) Got to
get up)

I don't want to go to work today
I rather stay home and play video games
I rather chill for real
I don't know how you feel but sometimes I feel like I'm
Workin' for nuthin' tryin' to get sumthin'
Every where I turn there's a bill standing out
Swim the river climb the hill
Complacency you ain't gone get me no no no no

(Chorus)
'Cause I gotta get up
I gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta get up
Get up
I gotta gotta got to gotta gotta gotta get up
I gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta get up
Get up

I'd rather be in my space
I'd rather chill in my place
So I can go out and play all day I
I'd rather chill at home
I'd rather lay alone
True, but I got to work
I don't wanna go
I wanna play today
But what can I say
Bills to pay
I just can't get comfortable doing (doing) nuthin'(nuthin')

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh(Gotta get up, Gotta get up)
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh(I gotta got to got to gotta gotta got to get up, I gotta gotta
get up)
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh(Hey I gotta gotta get up, Get up)

Gotta gotta
I gotta get up
I gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta get up
Get up Uhmmm

Song of the Week 7/20/09

This song is about being fucked up and coming out of it...


John Mayer - "In Repair"


Too many shadows in my room
Too many hours in this midnight
Too many corners in my mind
So much to do to set my heart right
Oh it's taking so long i could be wrong, i could be ready
Oh but if i take my heart's advice
I should assume it's still unsteady
I am in repair, i am in repair

Stood on the corner for a while
To wait for the wind to blow down on me
Hoping it takes with it my old ways
And brings some brand new look upon me
Oh it's taking so long i could be wrong, i could be ready
Oh but if i take my heart's advice
I should assume it's still unsteady
I am in repair, i am in repair

And now i'm walking in a park
All of the birds they dance below me
Maybe when things turn green again
It will be good to say you know me

Oh it's taking so long i could be wrong, i could be ready
Oh but if i take my heart's advice
I should assume it's still unready
Oh i'm never really ready, i'm never really ready
I'm in repair, i'm not together but i'm getting there
I'm in repair, i'm not together but i'm getting there

Mid Summer Review: Clearing My Head

So this summer is really shaping up to be once to forget. It seems like every time i take a step forward, something happens to putting me two steps behind (if that makes sense). So I had some summer goals at the beginning , but they have all be unsuccefull in some way. Well my car broke down, a broken rod i think, which means that i have to get a new car now...but i have no money...great. Money wouldn't have been an issue if my job didn't suck and they gave me hours. This is definiaty the last summer working this job. My coworkers are awesome, but the management sucks ass (and not in a good way). The car breaking down as also turned me into a little bit of a loner, because i live so far away (according to my friends) from campus nobody wants to take the time to pick me up for a party or if my friends are going to the bar. Its funny how you find out who your real friends are when you need their help with something.

Also on a sad note i will not be going to Atlanta this summer which i had be wanting to do for the longest. Once again i don't have enough money grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Plus with two of my grandmothers sisters dying this summer, not to many people are in good moods, and all my cousin around my age is not going to be in Atlanta this summer because of the resent family events. So it wouldn't be fun for me to go if i am going to be the only person there that is above 10 years old (not including my older cousin who is like 40 lol). But since i am not going to Atlanta my mom decided that we are going to go to Pittsburgh to see my grandfather for his birthday. So my dad, mom, brother and I are take a road trip to Pittsburgh once again. Which is cool, this will be my third time in pittsburgh...and i like it out there. Pittsburgh is becoming a location option for graduate school :)

So in the romance field (since i know everybody wants to know what is going on in my bed room lol)...i'm still single hahaha, i shouldn't be laughing because thats not funny, but oh well lol. But one a good note i have taken steps to moving on. I have went on a couple dates with a couple different people. No sparks though, they were good people but i just don't think they are what i am looking for. One i would say just don't have enough spice, and the other is mostly a loner someone that i would have to always chose where the hang out with him or to hang out with my friends. I don't want to have to make that decision right now, because in the past i would pick him, but that has got me nothing be heart broken and lost friends...so if i have to make that decision now i would pick my friends in a heart beat. And then there is my ex...well i don't want to go on forever with this subject but yeah nothing has gotten better between us. I mean he sends me texts ever now and then and we've talked on the phone...but its the same story, he like me and wants to be with me, but his ex is still number one in his life. And everybody that knows me know that i don't like to be in second place in anything. I still like the guy but until he decides that i am number one in his heart, i'm going to have to start looking else where for love...i do miss him dearly thou...

Next opticales to master for the summer would be: Pittsburgh, GRE, Getting a Car, Getting to 185Lbs (only 6lbs away...oh yeah!!!!), and Figuring out why i have a hole in my eye and how they are going to fix it...and yes i said i have a hole in my eye lol

Song of the week 7/13/09

Etta James - "A Sunday Kind Of Love"

I want a Sunday kind of love
A love to last past Saturday night
And I?d like to know it?s more than love at first sight
And I want a Sunday kind of love
Oh yea yea

I want a a love that?s on the square
Can?t seem to find somebody
Someone to care
And I?m on a lonely road that leads to no where
I need a Sunday kind of love

I do my Sunday dreaming, Oh yea
And all my Sunday scheming
Every minute, every hour, every day

Oh I?m hoping to discover
A certain kind of lover
Who will show me the way

And my arms need someone
Someone to enfold
To keep me warm when Mondays and Tuesdays grow cold
Love for all my life to have and to hold
Oh and I want a Sunday kind of love
Oh yea yea yea

I don?t want a Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday, or Thursday, Friday or Saturday
Oh nothing but Sunday oh yea
I want a Sunday Sunday
I want a Sunday kind of love
Oh yea
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday kind of loooove

Song of the Week 7/6/09

TAKE ME AWAY!!!!! LOL...No seriously lol


Natasha Bedingfield - "Pocketful Of Sunshine"


I got a pocket,
got a pocket full of sunshine
I've got a love and I know that it's all mine
oh.oh,oh
Do what you want,
but you're never gonna break me,
sticks and stones are never gonna shake me
oh,oh,oh

[Chorus]
Take me away (take me away)
A secret place (a secret place)
A sweet escape (a sweet escape)
Take me away (take me away)
Take me away (take me away
To better days (to better days)
Take me away (take me away)
A hiding place (a hiding place)

[Interlude]

I got pocket,
Got a pocket full of sunshine
I've got a love and I know that it's all mine
oh,oh,oh

Wish that you could,
but you ain't gonna own me
do anything you can to control me
oh,oh,oh

[Chorus]

[Hook]
There's a place that I go
That nobody knows
Where the rivers flow
And I call it home
And there's no more lies
And the darkness is light
And nobody cries
there's only butterflies

[Chorus 2x]

[Chorus & Interlude]

The sun is on my side
Take me for a ride
I smile up to the sky
I know I'll be alright

The sun is on my side
Take me for a ride
I smile up to the sky
I know I'll be alright

Song of the Week 6/29/09

In Honor of The Original MJ

it was hard picking a Michael Jackson song because i like so may of them lol

Michael Jackson - "Dirty Diana"


Oh No . . .
Oh No . . .
Oh No . . .

You'll Never Make Me Stay
So Take Your Weight Off Of Me
I Know Your Every Move
So Won't You Just Let Me Be
I've Been Here Times Before
But I Was Too Blind To See
That You Seduce Every Man
This Time You Won't Seduce Me

She's Saying That's Ok
Hey Baby Do What You Please
I Have The Stuff That You Want
I Am The Thing That You Need
She Looked Me Deep In The Eyes
She's Touchin' Me So To Start
She Says There's No Turnin' Back
She Trapped Me In Her Heart

Dirty Diana, Nah
Dirty Diana, Nah
Dirty Diana, No
Dirty Diana
Let Me Be!

Oh No . . .
Oh No . . .
Oh No . . .

She Likes The Boys In The
Band
She Knows When They Come To Town
Every Musician's Fan After
The Curtain Comes Down
She Waits At Backstage
Doors
For Those Who Have Prestige
Who Promise
Fortune And Fame, A Life
That's So Carefree
She's Saying That's Ok
Hey Baby Do What You Want
I'll Be Your Night Lovin' Thing
I'll Be The Freak You Can Taunt
And I Don't Care What You
Say
I Want To Go Too Far
I'll Be Your Everything
If You Make Me A Star

Dirty Diana, Nah
Dirty Diana, Nah
Dirty Diana, No
Dirty Diana . . .
Dirty Diana, Nah
Dirty Diana, Nah
Dirty Diana, No
Dirty Diana . . .
Diana!
Diana!
Dirty Diana!
It's Dia . . .Aa . . .Aa . . .
Come On!

She Said I Have To Go Home
'Cause I'm Real Tired You See
But I Hate Sleepin' Alone
Why Don't You Come With
Me
I Said My Baby's At Home
She's Probably Worried
Tonight
I Didn't Call On The Phone To
Say That I'm Alright

Diana Walked Up To Me,
She Said I'm All Yours
Tonight
At That I Ran To The Phone
Sayin' Baby I'm Alright
I Said But Unlock The Door,
Because I Forgot The Key,
She Said He's Not Coming
Back
Because He's Sleeping With
Me

Dirty Diana, Nah
Dirty Diana, Nah
Dirty Diana, Nah
Dirty Diana, No
Dirty Diana, Nah
Dirty Diana, Nah
Dirty Diana, Nah
Dirty Diana . . .
Come On!
Come On!
Come On!
Come On!...

Song of the Week 6/15/09

Lauryn Hill - When it hurts so bad

When it hurts so bad, when it hurts so bad
Why's it feel so good?
When it hurts so bad, when it hurts so bad
Why's it feel so good?

I loved real, real hard once
But the love wasn't returned
Found out the man I'd die for
He wasn't even concerned
I tried, and I tried, and I tried
To keep him in my life
I cried, and I cried, and I cried
But I couldn't make it right
But I, I loved the young man
And if you've ever been in love,
Then you'd understand

What you want might make you cry
What you need might pass you by
If you don't catch it,
If you don't catch it,
And what you need ironically
Will turn out what you want to be
If you just let it,
If you just let it

See, I thought this feeling
It was all that I had
But how could this be love
And make me feel so bad?
Gave up my power,
I existed for you
But whoever knew the voodoo you'd do?
But I, I loved the young man
And if you've ever been in love you'd understand
What you want might make you cry
What you need might pass you by
If you don't catch it
And what you need ironically
Will turn out what you want to be
If you just let it,
What you want might make you cry
What you need might pass you by
If you don't catch it
And what you need ironically
Will turn out what you want to be
If you just let it,
If you just let it

When it hurts so bad, when it hurts so bad
Why's it feel so good?
When it hurts so bad, when it hurts so bad

When it hurts so bad, when it hurts so bad
Why's it feel so good?
When it hurts so bad, when it hurts so bad

Song of the Week 6/8/09

Gorilla Zoe - "Lost"


[Gorilla Zoe]
Walking around looking for a way
But no one tells me which way to go
I'm caught up in a world
A labyrinth, a maze
Where yes men could easily be known
I ask them no questions
They give me no answers
Following the wise
But they're walking in pampers
Give me a cigarette
Smoking my cancer
Drink the pain away
But I still have no answers

[Hook:]
I'm lost on a road
Don't know which way to go
I'm losing my mind
Losing control of the wheel
And I'm swerving
On and off the road
I'm lost on a road
But survival is a must
Don't know who I can trust
I'm living in a rush
I don't understand the fuss
My brain is bout to bust

[Chorus:]
I think I'm losing it
I might be losing it
I just might lose
Am I losing my mind?
And I'm so confused I don't know what to do
And I need a clue before I run out of time
Am I losing it?
Am I losing it?
I think I'm losing
I'm losing my mind
Am I losing it?
Am I losing it?
I think I'm losing
I'm losing my mind

[Lil Wayne]
I I I I'm a need counseling
I lost my mind and still haven't found it
I used to be so well-rounded
But now I tiptoe on hell's boundaries
F F. Baby A.K.A. crazy
Trapped in a maze, therefore I am amazing
Block E the doc, I'm just a patient
And even with Navigation
I'm lost on a... (road)

[Hook:]
I'm lost on a road
I... I... I don't know what's wrong with me
But... but I'm a keep that styrofoam with me
I'm lost on a road
And I don't know what's wrong with me
Gorilla Zoe on the song with me
He must be gone with me

[Chorus]

[Gorilla Zoe]
I'm making this money
Just to go spend it
Living the good life
Hope nobody ends it
But who are you kidding?
Ay who are you lying to?
You know if they want you
Best believe they will find you

[Hook:]
I'm lost on a road
And there's no one to talk to
There's nowhere to run to
I'm going in circles
I'm talking to myself
Got me blazing this purple

[Chorus]

Song of the Week 6/01/09

The Dream - "Right Side of your Brain"



Oohhhh ohhhhhhh yi-yi-yi-yi-yahhh
Ohhhh ohhhhhhh yi-yi-yi-yi-yahhh
Ohhhh ohhhhhhh yi-yi-yi-yi-yahhhhhh-yahhhhhhh

[Verse 1]
U touch me baby
Then u untouch me baby
U feed me your lies
Words like pie
U warned me baby
Then u unwarn me baby
Outsmart me baby
& Im back, Im crazy

But I should be ashamed
Cuz I let
U do me this way
& then it's un-
Fortunate that when your in love
U never use...

[Chorus]
Right side of your brain (ehhh)
Right side of your brain (ehhh)
Right side of your brain (ehhh)
Right side of your brain (ehhh)

Right side of your brain (ehhh)
Right side of your brain (ehhh)
Right side of your brain (ehhh)
Right side of your brain (ehhh)

[Verse 2]
U love me baby
Unlove me baby.
U lead me on then
U lock the doors on our home.
U heart me baby
Then your hardly baby.
U need me baby
Then u see me go.
U say Im your friend
& U'll be there in the end.
Then you tell me baby
U sell me baby

But I should be ashamed
Cuz I let
You treat me this way
Cant lie, it's un-
Fortunate to say that love
Never lets me use....

[Chorus]
The right side of my brain (ehhh)
Right side of my brain (ehhh)
Right side of my brain (ehhh)
Right side of my brain (ehhh)

Right side of my brain (ehhh)
Right side of my brain (ehhh)
Right side of my brain (ehhh)
Right side of my brain (ehhh)

Right side of my...
Ohhh-oh-oh-oh-oh ohh-oh-oh-ohh-oh-ohhh-oh
Ohhh-oh-oh-oh-oh ohh-oh-oh-ohh-oh-ohhh-oh
Ohhh-oh-oh-oh-oh ohh-oh-oh-ohh-oh-ohhh-oh
Ohhh-oh-oh-oh-oh ohh-ohhhhh-ohhhhhhh

[Verse 3]
U love me baby
And u unlove me baby.
U watchin me dreamin
Ur love has me feenin'.
U feel me baby
& I nearly gave in.
U say Im your friend
What happened to the end?

But I should be ashamed
Cuz I let
U complain this way
& I know
That all this time..
I shoulda been usin'...

The right side of my brain
Right side of my brain
Right side of my brain
Right side of my MMMM-mmmmm

Mmmm-mmm side of my brain
Right side of my brain
Right side of my brain, at the same time...

Ohhh-oh-oh-oh-oh ohh-oh-oh-ohh-oh-ohhh-oh
Ohhh-oh-oh-oh-oh ohh-oh-oh-ohh-oh-ohhh-oh
[music fades]

Song of the week 5/25/09

TLC - "Unpretty"

Left eye:
Find the reflection you see to be so damn unpretty
Find the reflection you see to be so damn unpretty

T-boz:
I wish I could tie you up in my shoes
Make you feel unpretty too
I was told I was beautiful
But what does that mean to you
Look into the mirror who�s inside there
The one with the long hair
Same old me again today (yeah)

Chilli:
My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I�m through
It�s because of you
I�ve tried different ways
But it�s all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I�m just trippin�

Chorus:
T-boz & chilli:
You can buy your hair if it won�t grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make-up that mac can make
But if you can�t look inside you
Find out who am i, too
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty

Left eye:
Find the reflection you see to be so damn unpretty

T-boz & chilli:
Never insecure until I met you
Now I�m in stupid
I used to be so cute to me
Just a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things
To keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you
And then I�ll get back to me (hey)

Chilli:
My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I�m through
It�s because of you
I�ve tried different ways
But it�s all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I can�t believe I�m trippin�

Chorus

Chorus

Left eye:
As I reflect back on what I�ve used and abused
And detect that I need some clues to get through
To those that accused me of never being true
I�ll lose if I play into this game and never know the rules
So how do I bring out the me nobody sees
The forest for the trees, how �bout the woman behind the weave
The light from within this life is the only real remedy
Or find the reflection you see to be so damn unpretty

Tlc:
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh (oh)
Find the reflection you see to be so damn unpretty
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh (oh)
Find the reflection you see to be so damn unpretty

Chorus

Chorus

Song of the Week 5/18/09

John Mayer -"I'm Gonna Find Another You"

It's really over, you made your stand
You got me crying, as was your plan
But when my loneliness is through, I'm gonna find another you

You take your sweaters
You take your time
You might have your reasons but you will never have my rhymes
I'm gonna sing my way away from blue
I'm gonna find another you

When I was your lover
No one else would do
If I'm forced to find another, I hope she looks like you
Yeah and she's nicer too

So go on baby
Make your little get away
My pride will keep me company
And you just gave yours all away
Now I'm gonna dress myself for two
Once for me and once for someone new
I'm gonna do somethings you wouldn't let me do
Oh I'm gonna find another you

Song of the Week 5/11/09

The sad part is that this song really portrays my like right now but Its Whatever...


Gnarls Barkley - "Whatever"


[Cee-Lo]
I don't have any friends at all
Cause I have nothin in common with y'all
So who's gonna catch me if I fall?
My back's always against the wall
I don't have anything to say
I want everything to go my way
Shut up mom! It is not okay
I'm alone almost every day

[Chorus]
But it's cool (it's cool)
It could be better (could be better)
I don't care... (I don't care)
Whatever (whatever) Hold up my man
La la la la lah-lah-lah, whatever [3X]
La la la la lah-lah-lah

[Cee-Lo]
Talk to my counselor 'bout how I feel
Everyone agrees I could use some help
I love my girl more, than I love myself
But she's goin steady with someone else
I don't know what else to do
Said fuck me? Well fuck you too!
I know it sounds real sad but true
Bein alone is nothin new

[Chorus]
But it's cool (it's cool)
It could be better (could be better)
I don't care... (I don't care)
Whatever (whatever) Whatever bitch!
La la la la lah-lah-lah, whatever [3X]
La la la la lah-lah-lah

Song of the Week 4/27/09

James Morrison - "The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore"


I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall
You've been closing me in , closing the space in my heart
Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore

The pieces don't fit here anymore

You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

Why I can't explain why it's not enough
Cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

I don't know why

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

The pieces don't fit anymore

Oh, don't misunderstand how I feel
Cause I've tried, yes I've tried
Still I don't know why
No I don't know why

Song of the Week 4/20/09

This song pretty much somes up my college career LOL


Asher Roth - "I Love College"



I'm nice right now, man
I-I feel good
If you have a drink
Would you please put it in the air?

That party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it
I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked
Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need
Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again
Man, I love college

I wanna go to college for the rest of my life
Sip Banker's Club and drink Miller Lite
On Thirsty Thursday and Tuesday Night Ice
And I can get pizza a dollar a slice

So fill up my cup, let's get fucked up
I'm next on the table, who want what?
I am champion at beer pong
Allen Iverson, Hakeem Olajuwon

Don't even bounce, not in my house
Better hope you make it otherwise you naked
Time isn't wasted when you're getting wasted
Woke up today and all I could say is

Um, that party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it
I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked
Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need
Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again

Man, I love college, ay!
And I love drinking, ay!
I love women, ay!
Man, I love college

I can't tell you what I learned from school but
I could tell you a story or two, um
Yeah, of course I learned some rules
Like don't pass out with your shoes on
(Get the Sharpie!)

And don't leave the house 'til the booze gone
(No, we're not leaving)
And don't have sex if she's too gone
When it comes to condoms put two on
(Trust me)
Then tomorrow night find a new jawn

Hold the beer bong, nothing wrong with some fun
(Here, hold this)
Even if we did get a little bit too drunk
Time isn't wasted when you're getting wasted
Woke up today and all I could say is

That party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it
(I wish we taped)
I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked
Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need
Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again

Man, I love college, ay!
I love drinking, ay!
I love women, ay!
I love college

Now if everybody would please
Put their drink as high as they can
As high as they can
(As high as they can)
And repeat after me

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Freshmen! Freshmen!
Freshmen! Freshmen!

Do something' crazy! Do somethin' crazy!
Do something' crazy! Do somethin' crazy!
Keg stand! Keg stand!
Keg stand! Keg stand!

(That party last night)
Man, I love college
I love it!
(That party last night)
Alright everybody, I gotta head back to class for a little bit

That party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it
(I wish we taped)
(You know it's going down)
I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked
Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need
(You're all invited, bring your friends)
Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again
Man, I love college

Do I really have to graduate?
Or can I just stay here for the rest of my life?

Song of the Week 4/13/09

Pink - " This Is How It Goes Down"


I hear my name,
I hear the trash you're talking,
In your sleep, the secrets that you're keeping,
A chick, this smart
Did you really think you could keep her in the dark?

Does she purr?
Does she make it hard
Hard to speak?
Does she dress the part?
I'm sure she'll take some getting used to,
Brother she will never be me

Feel the burn, take a spin,
Suck the poison out of me,
I'll make your beg, I'll make your come,
To your senses if you keep,
Up the shit, take the hit,
Dig the grave
This is how it goes down,
This is how it goes down
Gonna run, gonna scream,
Gonna crawl down on your knees,
When you realize that no one's gonna measure up to me,
Doesn't matter cause I'm over it now,
This is how it goes down,
This is how it goes down,

I'm gonna rage,
Stay out really late,
Gonna hang, with all my friends you hate,
I may try that three-some,
Better late than never,
And better without you,

This is your future as I see it,
You will be homeless, bald and broken,
She will have left you when she finds out who you are,
You're nothing but an extra, and baby I'm the star,

[Chorus 1x]

[Rap:]
Suppose this is how the story goes but ever since that door closed,
I've been going down (down), the dream, in the pink got me nauseous,
I should've grown more cautious, and clever, whatever
you never find a dude with better head game and,
You can take that both ways,
You laughing like I'm playing with your fingers up like OJ,
Missy you would have a three-some without me,
I'll pull an OJ, and text you some incriminating pictures from my old days,

[Chorus 1x]

Somebody done lied to you
Because you're not such a big shot dude,
You might wanna rethink it through,
You should've asked me I would've told you the truth,

My Tattoos

A lot of people as me about my tattoos and what they mean to me. Well i have five and i'll start from the first one i got to the last...

This was my first tattoo, its a cross with a banner around it that says Ajax Jones. Ajax is my or was my nickname (its Jax now lol). I chose this tattoo because one i'm not really a religious person, and i told one of my friends that i liked guys and he deemed me to hell. So i got it as a symbol that my god knows me and will love me for who i am . I chose to put my nickname in stead of my real name because it was a time in my life where i was find myself. I didn't like who i was in the pass and it was symbol of moving on


This one is i like a lot. it is a tribal phoenix. I got this one because i like the phoenix it is a symbol of rebirth, fire and divinity. The phoenix is spoken about in manly religions as being a protector of gods and the sun. I picked it as a symbol of my rebirth, of me finding who i am and really starting to like me for me.


It says "Alexander the great" in Persian. I got this tattoo well because i my name is Alexander and i am great lol


I show this one again because i got it finished by putting the ying yang in the middle of the phoenix. I like this tattoo because it kind of describes the two sides of me. Alex the nice shy dreamer that nobody takes the time to get to know, and Jax the outgoing party goer that everybody knows. The flames are there kind of molding those to personalities of mine together making the well the person i am now :)


this is the last one so far haha, you can't see it very good but it is a skull with playing cards rapped around it with J (for Jack or Jax...get it LOL) all in flames. That one don't really have a lot of symbolizum to it, i just like it very much haha.


And those are my tattoos :-D

Song of the Week 4/6/09

Remember this song LOL

Kelis - Milkshake


My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge

I know you want it,
The thing that makes me,
What the guys go crazy for.
They lose their minds,
The way I wind,
I think its time

La la-la la la,
Warm it up.
Lala-lalala,
The boys are waiting

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge

I can see youre on it,
You want me to teach thee
Techniques that freaks these boys,
It can't be bought,
Just know, thieves get caught,
Watch if your smart,

La la-la la la,
Warm it up,
La la-la la la,
The boys are waiting,

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge

Oh, once you get involved,
Everyone will look this way-so,
You must maintain your charm,
Same time maintain your halo,
Just get the perfect blend,
Plus what you have within,
Then next his eyes are squint,
Then he's picked up your scent,

Lala-lalala,
Warm it up,
Lala-lalala,
The boys are waiting,

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge

Song Of The Week 3/30/09

This Song is So true...

Lily Allen - "The Fear"


I want to be rich and I want lots of money
I don't care about clever I don't care about funny
I want loads of clothes and fuckloads of diamonds
I heard people die while they are trying to find them

And I'll take my clothes off and it will be shameless
'Cuz everyone knows that's how you get famous.
I'll look at the sun and I'll in the mirror
I'm on the right track, yeah I'm on to a winner.

I don't know whats right and what's real anymore
And I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore
And When do you think it will all become clear?
'Cuz I'm being taking over by The Fear

Life's about film stars and less about mothers
It's all about fast cars and cussing each other
But it doesn't matter cause I'm packing plastic
And that's what makes my life so fucking fantastic

And I am a weapon of massive consumption
And it's not my fault it's how I'm programmed to function
I'll look at the sun and I'll look in the mirror
I'm on the right track, yeah we're on to a winner.

I don't know whats right and what's real anymore
And I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore
And when do you think it will all become clear?
'Cuz I'm being taking over by The Fear

Forget about guns and forget ammunition
'Cuz I'm killing them all on my own little mission
Now I'm not a saint but I'm not a sinner
Now everything's cool as long as I'm getting thinner

I don't know whats right and what's real anymore
And I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore
And When do you think it will all become clear?
'Cuz I'm being taking over by The Fear

Song of the Week

India Arie - "I Choose"



Because you never know where life is gonna take you
and you can't change where you've been.
But today, I have the opportunity to choose.

[Verse 1:]
Here am I now looking at 30 and I got so much to say.
I gotta get this off of my chest, I gotta let it go today.
I was always too concerned about what everybody would think.
But I can't live for everybody, I gotta live my life for me.(Yeah)
I pitched a fork in the road of my life and ain't nothing gonna happen unless I decide.

[Chorus:]
(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be authentic in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose. (Yeah)

[Verse 2:]
I done been through some painful things I thought that I would never make it through.
Filled up with shame from the top of my head to the soles of my shoes.
I put myself in so many chaotic circumstances, but by the grace of God I've been given so many second chances.
But today I decided to let it all go. I'm dropping these bags, I'm making room for my joy.

[Chorus:]
(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be authentic in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.

[Bridge:]
Because you never know where life is gonna take you and you can't change where you've been.
But today, I have the opportunity to choose. (Hey ey)
I used to have guilt about why things happen they way they did cuz life is gone do what it do.
And everyday, I have the opportunity to choose.

[Verse 3:]
From this day forward I'm going to be exactly who I am.
I don't need to change the way that I live just to get a man. (NO!)
I even had a talk with my mama and I told her the day I'm grown,
"from this day forward, every decision I make will be my own." And hey!

[Chorus:]
(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be courageous in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.

(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be authentic in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.

[Bridge:]
Because you never know where life is gonna take you and you can't change where you've been.
But today, I have the opportunity to choose. (Hey ey)
I used to have guilt about why things happen they way they did cuz life is gone do what it do.
And everyday, I have the opportunity to choose.